Dr Frostkenstein

I love my wife. Let's just get that out in the open right now. Even if her attitude is funky. She's a smokin' hot, intelligent young woman who doesn't let me get away with anything. Also, she's my favorite baby momma. That being said, I'm scared now. My sister gave my wife this winter scene thing that requires some assembly. There's a tree, some birds, huge candy canes and some glitter that represents snow...or blood. That's right. Blood. You see, in this idyllic winter scene lurks Dr Frostkenstein. "Aww, how cute," you say. Well friend(s), you've been duped. As I let my mind ponder Christmas past and lost myself in childhood snow days my eye happened upon the stack of alleged snowballs to the left of the cheerful snowman. And then I looked, and I mean really looked, at the snowman. Notice anything, or the lack thereof? He doesn't have arms! How in the hell can he throw snowballs with no arms?!?! Then the realization hit me. Those aren't snowballs, those are snow people body parts!!!! Here you have Dr Frostkenstein caught in the act! Notice the beady black eyes, the look of innocence in the worlds smallest carrot nose and that scarf that screams "I need a hug". All the tools of a master body snatcher! Luckily I caught on to him in time. Thank me later. Just be happy you and your children didn't have to go through this: