W is for I'll Beat Your Ass

I tried to find the Nazi lamp, I really did. I searched about the attic but it's been disappeared. Wife probably got rid of it 'cause she hates when I call her grandma a Nazi. I say, "If the lamp fits." Anyway, after the Nazi quest I was stomping through the living room and something started talking to me. It was this. Daughter has quite a few Melissa and Doug products and up until now I've been cool with them. I repeat: Up until now. The alphabet puzzle is starting to piss me off. Apparently, in addition to being educational, the M and D puzzles are little earthquake-o-meters: When they sense vibrations they make noise. The alphabet puzzle says basic alpha stuff like: "A is for Apple" when you drop letters in or walk by. Except for daughter's. Hers is a smart ass and, for a half dozen times when I walked by, said "W is for Watermelon." Really, Melissa and Doug? Well, you know what? "Fire beats wood!"