Happy New Year

The end of the year is here and I'm finishing it the same way that it started: On midnights. Tonight is my last night of this week and then, on Monday night, I'll be back for more. I guess next year is beginning the same way this one did. The house is quiet now as wife took daughter (and dog) to PIT for the overnight festivities. And also to avoid the Pb rain that seems to fall on New Year's and July fourth in predominately black neighborhoods. Oddly enough, no one shoots off for Juneteenth. Sad what people don't know. But enough of the negativism (for now, anyway). Here's hoping that you and yours remain safe throughout 2010 and that everything you could hope for comes to fruition. And now, enough talk of fruit, I'm going to go make some cookies!

She Was Putting Her Foot In It

Daughter got too much stuff for Christmas this year. She, in effect, had two Christmases. One at home with my wife and me and one in PIT, at my parents house. Technically, since my parents pretty much bought everything, I guess you could just say it was one huge-mongous Christmas. So big that it could not be contained by just one state. Yeah. Christmas morning was in Collinwood and my daughter spent the whole time, about four hours or so, playing in her new kitchen. This was fine by me as it kept her busy. Unbeknownest to me though, my daughter was also learning. I was washing dishes while my daughter was in the living room "cooking." All of a sudden I hear the pitter-patter of little feet. And it wasn't a gnome. Even though, from what I understand, this has been a particularly bad year for them. No, it was my daughter and she had something for me:

Cheese on a plate. Eventually the cheese on a plate grew into something more. A full-blown sampler of deliciousness:

Hell, even the dog got into the action (even though it was a salt shaker):
That was when I realized that something truly remarkable had happened. Even though she is only two and will hopefully have this Christmas eclipsed by many more, my daughter was having the time of her life. Kids mostly just get frustrated and tantrum up when they can't express to you how they feel. But when they can express it, expect to get a glimpse of Heaven. I'm sure it's needless to say it but I got everything I could ever want for Christmas.

Merry Christmas

Think about it. I dare you not to cry.
om mani padme hum, indeed.

Thanks for Thinking Mine is a Clean and Well Lighted Place

If you read this blog regularly, and who doesn't, you may have noticed the little box in the lower left that had been labeled "Technorati Authority." If you didn't notice that box don't bother looking for it now, it's gone. I'm no expert on anything but the authority box was a way to show the world how many people thought I was good at blogging about barely being able to raise a kid. For most of my blog career that little number was firmly stuck on "0." That was cool, in a Cobain sort of way. Then a few days ago I noticed the box link was broken. I went to Technorati.com and apparently they had made something better. In other words they fixed their site. I then checked out my Techno profile and lo and behold, I had authority. That's right, somebody in this world of 6,692,030,277 thinks that I am good at raising a kid. And writing about said kid-related adventures. And other stuff, like my barely updated memento mori project. I realize now that I want more. More authority. More people thinking that I do a good job. While "0" authority is Cobain cool, "1" and (hopefully) rising is Ratatouille awesome! So, in order to express my sincere gratitude here are a couple of free tips for whoever decided to trust me: 1) When preparing a spaghetti sauce that needs a little thickness, toss in about 1/3 cup of finely shredded carrrots. The carrot has a mystical power (just ask the were-rabbit) and will make your sauce thicker than Mrs Woods' bank account. And 2) If said spaghetti sauce turns out to be as salty as Hemingway's drawers, peel and quarter a white potato or two and drop them in the sauce. The potatoes will transmorgify and activate the "Power of Idaho" aka Denise Austin and will soak up most of the sodium. Then take the potatoes out and eat them. They'rrre Grrreat! Again, to whomever (probably my sister) Thanks! and remember "Raise 'em High!"

Loo, Loo, Loo. Loo, Loo, Loo, Loo, Loo.... C'mon, You Know the Words

Oh, Joy! Today was the latest in a series of "Breakfasts with..." at Lake Farmpark. There's been Breakfast with Ol' MacDonald (twice), The Easter Bunny and The Great Pumpkin. And today was Breakfast with Santa! There was a buffet (avoid), coffee (avoid), juice (if you value your guts, I suggest 'avoid') and some coloring pages. I would recommend the coloring except that you only get two crayons. My daughter's were orange and blue. Amidst all of the holiday cheer a curious thing did occur though: My wife let me use the camera to take the "official pictures to remember this auspicious day by." So without any furthur ado, may I present to you Breakfast with Santa. First, observe Santa's lair:

Next, wife and daughter, surrounded.
Then, there is the reason (that's a hammer and they also had drills),For this sign: And then there's our good friend Hermey: Who looks as if he took the first flight from the North Pole in order to....Wait. Wait just one minute. Umm.....Hermey? What the hell are you doing standing next to that bench. Take another look folks. I'll wait here....Yeah, did you notice Hermey's hand? Looks as if he's about to get his Michael Jackson on with the kids. And if we zoom out a bit... We see our other "friend" has already got his Little Michael out and primed. Jeez, Yukon Cornelius, put that thing away!!!!! Happy Christmas, everyone, indeed!

L4D, FTW

In between trying to figure out why my daughter hates me (what follows is based on true events:

ME: Ruby?

RLJ: No!
ME: "No!", what?

RLJ: No, Daddy!
ME: You don't want me to talk to you?
RLJ: No...Want mommy!
ME: (sigh) Mommy's at work.
RLJ: (crying) Want mommmmyyyy....!
etc., etc., etc.,....)
and wondering why Euclid won't lay on her new dog bed (with cedar shavings!), I've taken some time off from the 'sphere to invest some much needed time in myself (and be haunted by Tommy). Staying up late, hanging with friends, drinking copious amounts of adult beverages, killing zombies, etc. Hmmm? Yes, that's right, killing zombies. You know, it was only a matter of time. I'm not too far gone though, so don't worry. This is still stupid to me. And I still miserably fail the geek quiz. But I am trying to decide whether to run podzilla or rockbox on my ipod mini. And my quest for more power has nothing to do with adding an aftermarket exhaust and intake. I've recently become a more than willing member of the online gaming community. For a self-described misanthrope (funny story: I once told my therapist I was a misogynist. good times, good times) this world fits me perfectly: A) I don't have to worry about meeting at a place that I don't really care for, C) I can leave and not have to worry about hurt feelings (although L4D does tell you that you'll be letting your friends down when you choose to exit a game), D) I'm pretty much guaranteed to get some common courtesy while playing a co-op fps and C) Everybody, mostly, likes me; although I still don't know why somebody wanted to kick me out of that one game. So, after 16 years of being stuck in "Ohio's armpit," I finally have found a place for myself. In the middle of a zombie 'pocalypse fighting for survival. And now, back to buying my daughter stuff so she'll like me again.