Based on a true story...

I'm enjoying a brief reprieve from midnights, at least for this week. And apparently while I've been sleeping I've been missing out on all the baby-raising fun. My first midnight week wasn't too bad. Just working and sleeping. Then the second week hit. My daughter decided to get the party started right by spending most of Monday afternoon puking. If you've never experienced my daughters puke, go rent The Exorcist. The vomiting prompted a trip to the ER at four in the morning for my wife and daughter while I was at work. This ER visit involved the equation: 500ml IV drip/60ml per hour = a long-ass ER visit. The ER visit was then followed by an event that shall hereafter be referred to as Armageddon. If you've never experienced Armageddon here's what you do: Get yourself a LARGE banana milkshake and a banana-nut muffin. Crumble the muffin into small pieces and mix it thoroughly into the milkshake. Take this mixture, heat it to 102.6 degrees and pour it into your pants. Repeat ad infinitum. People keep asking my wife and I when are we going to have another kid. Come closer so I can kick you in your face.

GO IRISH!!!

Land of the Midnights Suck

I'm smack dab in the middle of a two week stretch(13 days) of midnights now so, as is my wont, I am shut down. I sleep from 9 am until about 4 pm, wake up and shower, give bubble bath time fun, eat, space out and then go to work. I would be sleeping now but the call of Assassin's Creed(for PC) was just too strong. All road personnel, including sergeants, must do eight weeks of midnights per year. With more seniority comes the ability to pick the exact weeks you want. I've got nine years in and for the last week have been the senior Dude on the road, excluding the sergeant. This means that for this period of time I should be starting close to home, right? No. My commute to work went from nine minutes to forty. My commute home went from nine minutes to an hour. To top it all off mother-frackin' NE Ohio has decided to snow during the morning rush hour. Super fun times, number one! Funny story; the on-duty sergeant does the midnight scheduling and at three this morning asked me, "What are you doing working out of your region?" About to strangle you, that's what.

I am N.D.

Go Irish!! And any team(including USC) that beats OSU!!

Blah, Blah, Blah

As a rule, I hate SuperMan. I mean, seriously, how can the strongest Man in the universe be challenged by anybody? Also, I'm not a fan of vampires. I don't know why, because Count Blah was hilarious. Maybe it's the whole, "I can live forever by just sucking some blood and having some lady write a book about me" thing but I don't find vampires interesting. But that may change if more foreign vampire flicks pop up. I just watched Lat den ratte komma in and let me just say, this movie kicks ass. I think that if Van Helsing had been foreign, and by foreign I mean in a language I don't understand, I probably would be a bigger fan of Dracula. There is just something about a foreign movie. Yes, I admit I did just want to see Amelie because Audrey Tautou is cute, and on a date it impressed my wife that I would "read" a movie, but on a larger scale, foreign movies rock. They make you feel small in a way that nothing else does. How often do you think about a foreign country? If you read Jason's blog it doesn't count. I mean how often do you think of a country in which you know no one? Most people don't realize it, unless they've been to that place and love it, but the sun rises and sets everyday on places where people don't know your name and don't care if you live or die. Maybe that's why I can groove to a foreign flick like Lat den ratte komma in. Not so much because of a vampire but because aren't those people cold? Watch the film and figure it out but Jesus, there's a whole bunch of people out there who aren't put off by the Storm of the Century hype that grips every American news channel every winter. Their cars are different, their neighborhoods are different, their food is different and their beer is better. For a guy that's only been out of the country once in his life and believes that nothing beats Nirvana, a foreign film is like a vacation where I can go native and not feel self-conscious about it. So I say 'Bring on the vampires!' As long as I can get a vacation out of it and not have to worry about finding a babysitter, it's all good.