Life's a Bitch and Then You Die.

I just recently heard from a friend who is having to sit around and wait to find out if she has cancer or not and that started me to thinking about being an adult. I became aware of my own mortality when I was 27 and had to have my first colonoscopy but I never seriously thought about dying until a co-worker passed away earlier this year. A famous man once said "Everyone dies alone", but who ever stops to think about their own death? Sure, there are fears of serious injury from spiders, sunroofs and heights but I don't really concern myself with being killed by those things. No, death is that silent, sneaky thing that comes when we least expect it, whether we've made our peace or not. And when you actually sit in a dark room with no TV, radio or loved ones to distract you and think about your death, it's scary. How will it happen?, Will it hurt?, Will I see her graduate from anything?, How soon will my wife re-marry? Throughout her life or death situation my friend can joke about it. She can tell the cancer weight loss and glowing in the dark jokes and continue on. I sit and listen to her and the one thing I'm struck by is how now I'm a member of that generation. You know which one I mean. They sit around talking about a recently deceased friend and say "Oh, they were so young. That's so sad." Well that's me and my friends now. Life is happening to us and no one asked us if it was okay. I mean, I know I'm old because high school kids look so small now but I feel and act young. Well, aside from the creaky knees, stiff fingers and intestinal problems. My point is, there is no map for the territory I'm passing into now. I have to figure this stuff out on my own and if I'm wrong and there is no reincarnation, I've only got one chance. It's true that life is unfair but that just sucks.