Thursday, April 30, 2009

Making It Right

This came in the mail today:



On the Daddy Tip #7

I went back into the blogspot dashboard to just check out some old posts that I had and had not posted and I realized that I was cheating all of my faithful readers out there. If you've been paying attention, you may have noticed that I have trouble counting to eight. So, here's number seven: Don't put a bottle in your kid's crib at bedtime and (do) brush your kid's teeth! I don't want to hear about how your three year old needs oral surgery because you think it's easier to just leave the bottle of purple kool-aid in the crib so you don't have to get up every two hours. No, wait. That's not really the tip. There's just this Guy I work with...don't even get me started! The real tip is this: Crest Spin Brush. "Research shows that kids brush 38% longer with Spin Brush..." Well, folks, Research is right. There is no more squirming, no more fighting, no more kicking and no more "I'll hold her arms." I've told my dentist, I've told the pediatrician and now I'm telling you. You lucky bastards.

Saturday, April 25, 2009

There's a Storm a Brewin'

I hate to brag but I will; I'm popular. My mom is always calling me and stuff and asking how my daughter is so I know I'm an essential part of the planet. Also, I'm married, and I'm pretty sure that counts for something. Since I was in want of a new phone and Verizon rocks with the "New Every Two", I decided to do like Beyonce and upgrade. Since I can't afford an iPhone and Verizon doesn't offer it I picked up a new Blackberry Storm. Now I can delete all of my spam penis-enhancing email anywhere I can get a signal. And I can text people(my sister) and tell them how I'm having so much cool times. Or getting ready for bed at seven thirty. Or working. And with a new Twitter account, which I won't even bother to provide a link to, I can keep up with the rest of the world and they can keep up with me. Wanna hear a sad story? No? Too bad. I signed up for Twitter and within a day had two followers. Cool, huh? Then I found out that I do have a girl name and one of my followers was actually thinking I was someone else. Yeah, that's how pitiful I am. On a happier note, Buddy Guy will be rocking(bluesing?) the Tri-C Jazz Fest this year so I'm kinda excited. And in honor of my Storm and my new found coolness:


And don't knock JM. If a 34 year old black Dude can rock to Heavier Things, you can too.

Saturday, April 18, 2009

On the Daddy Tip #8

Today's Daddy Tip is actually just for Dads. Not for you to pass along to a wife or to use to save your kid from a shark attack; No, this one is just for you. If you ever decide to do a favor for your mother and build a little patio for her Char-Broil and dig up and deal with holly bushes, don't ever, and I mean never ever, use a sea salt and safflower oil exfoliating body scrub to get the stench of the PA hills off of your body. Because it will hurt. Believe you me, it hurts way more than being caught with your pants down by your wife, who apparently has nothing better to do. Thanks, Siobhan.

Friday, April 10, 2009

NOLA State of Mind

I'm long overdue for a Daddy Tip; I even had one prepped that contained mentions of doo-juice and pretzels. But then I got nostalgic and ended up with a better idea. Every year for the past five I'd go to New Orleans for Easter. Cafe au lait and beignets at Cafe du Monde. Ceviche fish tacos and a Purple Haze at Lucy's. The Algier's ferry. Random sightings of Jesus in the French Quarter. Then my parents moved to Pittsburgh. But I have a love jones for the Crescent City so I search for anything related on the webs. Earlier this week I found Make It Right NOLA and decided to make a pitch. I know I'm not the most popular blogger out there but if you are reading this please, pass along Make it Right. Brad Pitt has donated five million dollars and started this organization in order to rebuild the Lower 9th Ward with sustainable low-cost housing. Even if you don't like his acting, you can't fault him for doing something. You can give as little as five dollars or as much as you want; Join a team or start your own. If you need to get more than just a fuzzy feeling for doing the right thing, buy a t-shirt or two. If you don't like the Make It Right shirts or Brad Pitt, Save Nola Now. All proceeds go to the organizations and are tax deductible. Four years later, New Orleans still looks like Katrina hit last week. Regardless of who you want to blame please, don't forget.